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Day 21 of 31: On a serious note...

We want you to know that we sincerely appreciate

your willingness to take time out of your day to spend it with us.

We know your time is precious.

Yesterday we reviewed the things we've learned so far.

We still have several more tidbits to share with you,

so let's keep the momentum going, shall we?

We have a friend.

We'll call this friend Jay,

because that's his name.

Jay's been doin' some self-reflectin'. He's been askin' some questions. And he's allowin' us to share one of his sentiments with you.

We'll tell you what that is in a minute, but first, the most frequent piece of feedback we've gotten from our team-of-challenge-participants is that

you didn't realize how much venting, complaining, commiserating, or gossiping you do on a daily basis.

Neither did we.

But the struggle some of you are navigating is a bit more specific.

You set out with good intentions, but -

Sometimes the line between informing and complaining is blurred.

And sometimes, an innocent, conversational question opens the door to an unnecessary swiftly spiraling vent-sesh. After all, if we are really being honest, we know that some people like to play this imaginary game called, "who has it worse." And they are in it to win it.

Which brings us back to our pal, Jay.

"Am I unintentionally inviting complaints to the conversation?" - J

Sometimes it's little things that become truly profound 'aha' moments in our lives.

So here's the take-away for today.

If you, like Jay, recognize that you frequently find yourself listening to or participating in unnecessary* vent sessions, we encourage you to think about how you are phasing your questions and statements. ARE they inviting in opportunities for woe-is-me type responses?

But also - Pay attention to your tone and body language.

Did you know? A while back a guy named Albert Mehrabian did this study. Here's what he found:

How we communicate with others is -

  • 55% body language, including the energy you are projecting

  • 38% vocal tone

  • 7% actual words

Don't get us wrong, we believe WORDS matter. In our Empowered and Equipped series, we encourage you (and ourselves) to be intentional with not only the words we say out loud, but also the words we think.

Yes, this includes our self-talk.

But what else are we "saying" without, you know... saying?

Today we invite you to pay special attention to not only your words, but also your thoughts, your tone, your body language, and your energy.

* Hopefully, #NoMessageCouldHaveBeenAnyClearer, but just in case....

Before we close, we want to clarify what we mean by "unnecessary venting."

Context is king, remember?

If you or someone you know is in need of actual help, professional or otherwise, this is where we encourage you to jump into solutions-seeking-mode and reach out for the actual help that's needed.

The advice shared today is specific to unnecessary venting.

Now, here's the king of pop to bring this message on home.....

Special thanks to our special guests, Michael Jackson, Albert Mehrabian, and our ol' pal Jay.

Copyright © 2023 Tara & Joshua Dukart of Seek First Ranch. All Rights Reserved.

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07 abr 2023


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